Its about making memories worth repressing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
