Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
