We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
