Soap is not a condiment
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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