Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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