i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
