So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
