that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
