So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
