My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
