I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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