i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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