i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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