i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
