he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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