you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
