so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
