have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
