after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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