dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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