Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
