big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
