so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
