So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
