is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
