Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
