let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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