im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
