go do what you do best...puke behind churches
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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