Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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