i think i have two assholes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
