he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
