why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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