The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
