I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
