I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
