i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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