The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
COCAINE IS GR8
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
