I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
