I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
