super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
