med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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