Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
