so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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