She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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