dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had to cum in my sink.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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