Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
