wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
