I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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