Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she smelled like a LAN party
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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