Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
