So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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